Island Hunters

I thought I was going to die!!

I was not ready to die nor was this the way I wanted to die (not that I really have a choice when that day comes).

A sense of adventure and a desire for an amazing experience had led to me out into the ocean.  Now I found myself out way too far from shore to get back, my energy was depleted and each stroke was getting more and more challenging.

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I remember fondly the first time I entered the water with a snorkel.  I hopped off the back of the large catamaran in Key West Florida and discovered a whole new world.  The colors, the variety, the calm beneath the surface.

Getting used to breathing the first few times was a challenge.  The taste of salt water in the mouth and throat initially makes you want to quit and get back on the boat.  On top of that, the snorkels that they lend you on most excursions are basically glorified straws.  Their is no valve at the top to decrease the water coming down the tube which means you get generous tastes of the water as each wave comes by and each time your tilt and turn your head.

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Moray eel - Maui

First time snokeling - Key West Florida

Not having snorkeled until my thirties, I have now snorkeled in Key West, the Virgin Islands, Honduras, Cuba, Mexico, Jamaica and Hawaii.

Some of the highlights from underwater are squid, octopus, moray eels, barracuda, starfish, turtles, rays, jellyfish and man-o-wars (the last two were not as pleasant especially getting stung).

Turtle - Mexico

two starfish - Cuba

Fish - Roatan Honduras

large coral head - Jamaica

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Last summer Kim and I took off to Oahu for a ten day trip of relaxation, sun, great food and for me a lot of snorkeling.  We started in Honolulu where we snorkeled at Hanauma Bay, one of the most popular snorkeling locations in Hawaii.  There was a lot of fish but also a lot of people which made it a bit more difficult to maneuver and fully enjoy the moment.

After doing the Pillbox hike to watch the sunrise, we headed down to Lanikai beach (east side of Oahu).  Much different then the previous snorkeling time, we basically had the beach to ourselves.  I headed out and soon found out why nobody else was snorkeling here.  Their was a strong wind which caused for minimal visibility in the water as the sand was being stirred up.  On the way back in to shore, I felt a tingling/burning all over my forehead and cheeks - much like if you got stung by a wasp added to the weird sensation you get from licking a battery.  I found out upon reaching shore that the wind had blown in a bunch of man-o-wars which look a lot  like jellyfish but float along the surface and are blown in by strong winds (once again why not a lot of people were swimming that morning).  On top of that inconvenience, while trying a local remedy of rubbing berries on my forehead, a guy stole my snorkel.

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It started with another ordinary trip into the water.  I found an area that was not too crowded and based on my online research found the area that should have the most fish present.  We were at Waimea Bay which is primarily known for the large cliff jumping rock and its winter surfing - it wasn't the best snorkeling location compared to others along the North Shore.

Along the west side of the bay I followed along the edge of some large rocks.  In my ears I could hear some high pitched screeches under water but could not see anything.  It sounded like dolphins but those could be quite a ways off.

As I came around a bend I saw it, a large turtle grabbing some air along the surface before heading back down below to eat and get more rest.  I followed the turtle for a few moments and enjoyed how easily it glided through the water.

After the turtle disappeared I continued my swim.  There was a couple of other snorkelers near by and I alerted them to the nearby turtle.  They were not as excited as I thought they should be and instead they said some words that would get my brain racing.  "That's cool, thanks.  We saw you and were going to try and call you over.  There was just some dolphins right here."

I was that close to swimming with dolphins in the wild and I missed it.  That would be an amazing bucket list item that I didn't even have on my bucket list.

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Sitting down on the towel I told Kim about my adventure.  I had been in the water for over 30 minutes and shared about the turtle and the missed dolphin experience.  I ate a granola bar and looked out at the water silently.

In the distance, there was a stand up paddle boarder, a couple of kayaks and two snorkelers.  That's when I saw the splash...dolphins!!

After a few minutes of watching I grabbed my snorkel and let Kim know I was heading out.

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The paddle boarder had stopped to talk on her way back and asked if I needed a lift back.  I had not yet made it out to the dolphins but she said I was close.  I said I was fine and proceeded further.  I came up to the two other snorkelers who now were also heading back.  They said the dolphins were close and proceeded to flipper their way back to shore - this may be a time to mention that I don't typically use flippers when snorkeling as I find they often hinder you from getting closer to the reefs when closer to shore which at this moment I was not. 

Post flip splash...hard to capture in real time.
Note the distance from shore.

After a few more minutes I saw a splash.  A smaller baby dolphin performed a couple of private tricks for me - a back flip followed plus a spinning twist out of the water.  The closest they got was about 25 feet yet still they were close enough for me to see them coming out of the water as they swam around me.

You can see the dorsal fins popping out of the water

distant dolphins underwater

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"What an amazing experience.  It will be so great to tell people about this" I thought as I headed back towards shore.  The adrenaline of getting to swim with dolphins and all the energy expenditure of getting out to them was now starting to ware me down.  I would swim back for a minute or two and then take a few moments to catch my breath.  I remember getting an energy burst so I gave it my all for a good minute only to look up and see that the waves had spun me around and I was swimming away from the beach.

What was I going to do?
How was I going to get back to the beach?

I did not have enough energy to make it back the whole way.
I remember thinking, maybe the dolphins will sense my distress and come back and push me to shore.

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There it was.
A small island.
I didn't have much energy left but maybe I could make it to the island.

The island was a lava rock sticking out from the water.  It was jagged and sharp.
I recalled videos of people getting smashed against rocks and getting injured so I planned my approach carefully finding the side of the island that appeared the safest.

I fought my way to the island, slowly.  The snorkel was malfunctioning and breathing through it became challenging.

I threw my hand up on top of the rock and waited for a wave to help propel me upward from the water so I could get up.  I felt a prick in my finger and blood began to flow.  I pulled myself up and was out of the water, blood now pouring down my hand.  A sea urchin was hidden in the rock and as I pulled myself up I had touched its pointy spines which broke off in my skin.

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I sat there for a few minutes just getting my breath.  I laid back on the jagged rocks.  I had made it to the island.  I was alive.  My mind began to race.

What had I done?
What will I do?
How will I get back the rest of the way?

In that moment all remaining energy in my body surged out of me and was gone.  I could not make it back and I needed help.

I started to wave my arms hoping that the lifeguard would come to my rescue, finding even waving my arms at this time was tiring and difficult. Why had they not come earlier?  Could they not see that I was struggling?  Why are they not coming now as I stand on this little island waving for their help?

A helicopter tour came up the coastline. I started waving my arms hoping they would send for help. No help would come as they carried on further up the beach clueless to my need for rescue.

Scanning the coastline I saw a house.  There was a couple of people on the deck painting.  I began to yell "help" as loud as I could, mustering any strength I had left in my breath.  They eventually looked my way.  They then shrugged at me lifting their arms and turned and continued to work.

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Would the tide come in soon?
Would my island be covered forcing me to swim again?
Is there a rip tide in the area?  The water appeared to be flowing away from shore.
How would I swim through the strong currents?

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Have you ever felt like you are drowning?
Life is too big.
It is swallowing you.
Your energy is disappearing and you don't know how you will ever make it back to safety.

Finances.
Relationships.
Hopelessness.
An empty future.
The haunting past.
Loss of a loved one.
Lack of recognition.
Stuck.
Helpless.
Brokenness.
Abandonment.
Alone.

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As I was swimming hoping to make it to the beach, thoughts bounced back and forth between survival and fear.  It is amazing the power of the mind in these instances.  Although physically I was way beyond my limit, my body held up.  My mind is where the real battle took place.  For the next weeks and sporadically over the next few months my mind would take me back to reliving those incidents.  The retelling of the story in my mind tended to focus on the moments in the water, the fear, the struggle, the reality of being that close to the end.  The what ifs tended to take over my mind and the focus of my thoughts. 

Reliving this story was tough as I continued to battle with the thoughts.  After a visit to my counselor (seriously, if you don't have a counselor go and visit one) she helped me with a new perspective.

Rather then viewing the incident as isolated segments, the story needs to be viewed in its entirety.
I have a sense of adventure and that has led me to many great experiences.
I took a risk for the outcome feeling it would be worthwhile.
I had the energy and strength to get out there.
I was able to experience the dolphins in their natural habitat.
My mind was strong enough to tell me it was time to head back in rather then staying longer and prolonging the stay.
Although my body was fatigued, I had the stamina and strength to keep swimming.
My body did not give up on me physically.
I was aware enough to process my options and saw the island and made a wise decision.
I remembered videos of the dangers of waves and rocks and got on the rock safely - even if it meant touching the urchin.
I was able to recognize that I needed help and was willing to cry out for it.

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I don't want to downplay people's struggles and situations.  As stated in the previous blog, sometimes life sucks and tears are the only answer.  I also don't mean to downplay the fact that some people may not survive their battles for various reasons.

Amid your struggle (current or past), what is your island?
What is the island that you found in the middle of the big bad ocean that tried to swallow you up?
What is the place that helped you get dry for a few minutes?
The place that helped you get a quick reprieve from the waves and the waters around you?

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After some time on the island, I made the decision it was time to attempt to get to the shore.  The main beach was too far however closer to the house (with the unhelpful painters) there was a rocky shoreline that I could swim toward.  There was a small channel I would need to cross before reaching the rocks which I could then climb up and walk back along the coastline getting closer to the beach before swimming the last little bit.

Looking at the water, I did not know which way it was flowing.  I would be out of site of the lifeguard tower and could be swept away to see.  I would not be able to see the beach as I would be hidden behind other little islands and rocks.

I needed to get back into the water and I needed to fight with all my strength to get there.

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After walking along the rocks and getting closer to the beach, I entered the water one last time to swim the last 100 meters to the shore.  I walked out of the water fatigued but alive.  Within a few steps I saw Kim quickly walking towards me, tears pouring down her face.

We embraced.  We cried.  I apologized.
The reality of what just happened sank in even deeper.

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I found part of my healing from this incident came through a song.  The lyrics are simple and yet very fitting.

The island - after swimming across the final channel to get back to shore.
Song by Brian Doerksen.

You are my rock (or island) in times of trouble.  You lift me when I fall down (or am drowning).

Tears flowed the first time we sang this song.  I realized that in my adventure I was not alone.  I was guided through the waters.  I was given the stamina and strength.  My mind was with it enough to see the island and head in that direction.

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I made it back to the beach because there is still more of my story that needs to play out.

I did not know at the time but I had swum a total of 3050 meters that day.  I was in the water for 88 minutes swimming including my initial encounter with the turtle.

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You are not alone in your battle whatever it may be.  You may feel alone.  You may not feel God near you.  You may feel abandoned by him.  You may not even believe He is even out there.

You are stronger then you know!
You are a fighter and you can make it through the battle.
Scan the waters and look for the island.
God is with you in the waters, giving you strength behind each stroke, giving you eyes to see the island, the energy needed to make the final swim back to the beach.

You too can make it to the beach.

For some of us we made it to the beach yet we are still living life mentally in the water - staying stuck in that moment.  Get the help you need to heal from the past and leave it in the past - learning from it but moving on at the same time.

Don't just look at the struggle itself (I know easier said then done) but view the whole of the story including the fact that you made it to the beach for .  There are moments where hope showed up in your story and you may not have noticed it.  You have made it through for a purpose.

A passage of scripture that is of comfort to me and connects to the struggle is found in Matthew 11:28-30:

28 “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. 29 Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. 30 For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” (TPT)
May you find the oasis (or island) amid the struggle and eventually find your way back to the beach where you can live with a God who is gentle, humble and desires to refresh you and give you rest.

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MAKING IT REAL

Take a few minutes and listen to Faithful One:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lhLiLXS5qQ

Take some time to reflect on your own life and some of the struggles that you have had to navigate.  What got you through?
Looking back, what were the islands amid the storm or struggle?
Who were the people that came alongside you to help?
My counselor helped me to see the whole story and not just that I almost drowned.  What is your full story?


* As a side note...it is also important to note that at some point you may need to get into the water and have another adventure.  Don't let the past dictate your future and hold you back.  Learn from it but don't lose site of living and the adventure.
A couple of days after my dolphin encounter, I boarded a boat which took us out 3 miles from shore where I was able to have this adventure:

swimming with sharks - no cage!!

four sharks...not as intimidating as you would think!!